FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
