I'm going to jail i love you
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
