Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
