is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
