Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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