Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
