my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
