Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
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I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
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god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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