And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
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I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
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His crazy is a thing to be cherished
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize