we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I want her autograph on my taint
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
