I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
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the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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