I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
