So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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