I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
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