What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
