I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Just cropdusted the office
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Just high enough for therapy.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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