Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
