Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
