I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
