I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Randomize
