I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
