Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
