He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
