Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
