oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I FOUND THE LEGS
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
