Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
