He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
