what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
