Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
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