I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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