No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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