We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize
