i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I have feelings that need drinking.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
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