There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
