I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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