summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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