i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
