dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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