apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
