East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Randomize
