I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize