i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
