There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
