You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize