Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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