I heard we made out
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
