Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
it was like eating out sand paper
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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