i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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