The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
