He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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