He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
