So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
