he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
