I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
