But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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