that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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