i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
