we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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