she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
soo... how was my night?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
